Sunday, September 13, 2015

september discipline: lead with love and positivity

as human beings, we can be quick to criticism. i want to give you a different perspective on criticism. i believe the critique is actually more about us than the subjects we are judging.

to me, criticism is actually the desire to connect. when we criticize, we are yearning for a connection or grieving the fact that we don't feel a connection with someone or something.

consider a recent scenario you have been critical of:
*a friend who has been distant
*a parent who is sarcastic
*a spouse who forgot your anniversary
*a waitress who got your order wrong

all of these examples are evidence of feeling misunderstood, disconnected and not feeling heard. when we are lacking association and feeling divided, our minds turn to criticism.

i try to consider this when feelings of judgment arise. what is it about the situation that is evoking the critical thoughts? am i actually grieving and feeling sadness that is being masked with a more energized anger?

we are hard wired toward judgment and i believe it is crucial for safety and security, however it can be taken too far causing a toxic environment. let's pause and try to lead with love and positivity next time we are inclined to criticize. 

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